I smell you Autumn

September is just around the corner and I haven't been as vigorous with my writing as I'd planned. I was at the beach all last week and didn't write hardly at all. I got swimmer's ear and spent all weekend CRYING because of the pain. I'm just starting to recover.

I queried Seaweeds today. FINALLY! A part of me is super super scared that no one will want to read it. That's what happened with the last novel I queried. My first two books I queried, I got a few agents to read the entire manuscript. With each novel, I expect more not less. I really want to get an agent this time, or at least get agents interested in reading more.

I still need to finish Flicker. I might need to write a new short story for grad school applications. And I have another novel I want to start writing. Lots to do. A week left of summer vacation and then back to full time work. Yikes. I better be productive!

August Goals

So July wasn't as exciting as I hoped it was going to be, but at least I got a lot of writing done.

Seaweeds is just about ready for agents! I still have a few more edits to do. But it's solid. Just gotta make sure the query is top notch. My plan is to spend all of next week reading it as many times as possible to make sure it's error-free. I really like the story. I think agents will either hate or love it. Best I stick to agents who like dark humor and sex.

Flicker is almost done. Two more chapters to write. It will def be over 95K when it's all finished. I was thinking I'd hit 100K, but I'm not. Like I really want to edit that long of a book? I might actually have to re-write the whole thing. I'm not sure if 1st person works, so it may have to translate all over to 3rd person which will take a long long long long time. Is it worth it? I'm not sure...especially when I have another book I want to write.

WIP #3...in synopsis form...dying to be written. I shall start it as soon as Flicker is done and Seaweeds is queried.

Goals for August:
Query Seaweeds
Edit/Revise Flicker
Get to 25k in WIP #3
Write another short story for grad schools (I have two that I really like but they're too much alike)

need a place to go

I need a place to go where I can scream, cry, kick my feet against the ground, curse like a sailor, and throw punches at the wind. Usually I put my anger into my writing, but I'm so worked up right now, I'm unable to do anything but write down exactly what I'm feeling. But quite frankly I don't know what I'm feeling.

I went away for a week. Drove 5 hours to PA and spent most of the time with my grandmother or my cousin. I felt relaxed. I worked on my novels. I ran 4 miles every day. I ate good food. It was a nice escape.

Just got back yesterday and I've never been more on the edge. That escape for a week wasn't enough. And it's made me realized how unsatisfied I am with my life. I feel like I'm going nowhere. While I love writing (it's the only thing I can depend on to make me happy) it's not enough. I want a real job. My own place. A boyfriend, or at least more guy friends. Some of these things require patience. But it's hard when there's people all around you getting everything you want and they don't have to wait. And while it's probably not true for most cases, I feel like some are completely undeserving. And it really ticks me off when people don't appreciate the great things they have.

So in a way, I'm mad at myself for being ungrateful. I know I have talent. I know I'm not ugly. I know I have a family that loves me and some pretty good friends. And I'm employed. I seriously just wish I could be satisfied with what I've got but its near impossible in this crazy world where cell phones and facebook control your social life and make you feel 80 times more disconnected with the world than you already feel. Maybe I'm just being a drama queen. Maybe I'm just being selfish. Spoiled. Ungrateful. But I can't help what I feel.

Everything I wish I could say
And everything I wish I could do
Are locked behind these double lines I’ve created for myself
Been trying to erase it but I used a sharpie pen
So do I white it out or find new places to write on?

The Everchanging World VS the Simple Me

Technology. Love it or hate it, it's never going to stop growing. What we learned last week might be out of date a year from now. A month from now. Tomorrow. Who knows!? Teenagers are obsessed with vampires. In a few years, it may be ghosts and goblins. Have to be in with the latest trends and fashions, technology, gadgets...etc etc etc.

All I can say is: YUCK.

And that I'm thankful this doesn't affect my writing. I write what I want to write, when I want to write it, breaking the rules as I go along, not caring if people are going to be offended or pissed off that I killed off an important character or gave the antagonist a happy ending. It's my fictional world. I can do whatever I want with it. And I don't have to worry about keeping up with technology. Because you can't anymore. If I write a novel and it's published it won't be on the bookshelves for 2 more years. I can't predict what people are going to like in the future and I can't write what's hit right now because it may be out of style in 2 years.

So that means I write what I want to write. Make it unique. Make it funny. Make it something I'll enjoy now and ten years from now.

I think people will always like vampires though.

I wish I could close my eyes and jump into my fictional world. All my characters would love me because I put a piece of myself in each and every one of them. :-)

JULY!

Well, it's July. Yippee! How is writing? Hmmmm let's do an update:

1- WIP #1 still doing edits, friends are reading it, query has been written but needs tweaking, I'm thinking August shall be when it's ready for agents

2- WIP #2 is almost at 60K. love the story. Love my main character. The novel has the potential to be my first 100K book if I continue in the direction I'm going. I have so many ideas for the series and so many characters I want to put in. It's very exciting.

And that's all I'm working on currently. I do have other novels in synopsis form but I'm going to wait until I've queried WIP #1 and finished the first draft of WIP #2 before exploring them.

Summer is the best time of the year for writing. Everything is beautiful and thus everything inspires me.

Summer Reading

Ah, summer is here! And that means more time for reading. I am currently reading CITY OF BONES and love it so much I bought the sequel today. Here is my list of books I will (fingers crossed) have read by September.

City of Bones
City of Ashes
City of Glass - need to buy!
The rest of the Sookie Stackhouse books, I've read the first 5
The Time Traveler's Wife
Gemma
The Reader
Revolutionary Road

And in addition to writing my goal is to have SEAWEEDS edited, revised, queried and ready for agents by the end of summer too. And have a first draft of my WIP. :-)

POV

There are times I love the first person narrative and other times I hate it. 36K into a new novel and I'm debating whether to switch to 3rd person or add a second voice to the narration or keep it as it is. Sometimes I love my character's voice. Like this:

My brain told me to get out of the shower. My heart told me to stay. Which one was closer to my groin?

“Please,” she said. “Just hold me. Hold me like you love me.”

Had she ever been held that way before? Had I?

After releasing a held breath, I looped my arms around her waist; the cold of her belly pressed against my hips. She curled her hands over her chest and leaned into me. She was slouching enough that I was able to rest my chin on the top of her head. This didn’t feel as wrong as it should have felt.

Nice, but then there are sections that are just blah blah. My main character is trying to keep up with everything around him, the many (and there are many!) characters and sub-plots. Can he do it?

Or rather, can I write it?