my favorite binder

So I have this 3-ring binder. It's yellow. It's cheap. And it holds every single rejection letter I've gotten for writing whether it be from a publishing company, an agency, or a grad school. Every few weeks I add new letters. It's sad to think I might run out of room someday and have to buy a bigger one. But my imagination leads me to believe that one day I'll be sitting next to Oprah with that binder on my lap. And I'll show it to the world.

I've only been pursuing writing seriously for two years. I've grown so much. It's shocking when I read stuff from two years ago and think "Yuck! What was I think putting in all those exclamation marks?" Two years from now, I'll read the stuff I'm writing right now and probably think the same thing. So if that's the case, am I really ready to see my novels on the bookshelves of Barnes&Nobles and Borders? Maybe not. Maybe I'm not ready to be published. Maybe I'm not good enough yet.

But I will be someday. Because I'll never give up.

In the meantime, I'd be nice to have a literary agent at least ask for more sample pages. At least.

Deadlines

We all hate deadlines, but if they weren't there, we wouldn't be as productive. For example, I have to have a full-length play in 2nd draft form by next Monday. So far, I've done about 2 scenes with about 8 more to go. Plays aren't my favorite things to write anymore, so it's hard to stay focused. So what have I been doing? Rewarding myself! Every hour I work on the play, I get to work an hour on my novel. I'll be productive, but at the same time I won't get away from what needs to be done. I have lots of projects I'm working on right now:

1- Editing Seaweeds (goal-May 1st)
2- Finish querying To Catch a Rainbow Butterfly (a few more agents to go...now if only the rest would reply!!!)
3- Submit my three short stories to writing competitions (and tweak them up a bit before sending)
4- Finish editing my play (deadline-May 3rd)
5- Continue working on my newest novel, which may be my favorite (because I'm putting everything I love into, versus high depth emotion/feelings)

Will it all be done when I want it to be done? Hmmmm...I dunno. Hopefully!

the importance of reading

I love to read.

As a writer, I find it crucial to read as many words as I write, if not more!

I just finished "Silver Borne" the 5th book in the Mercy Thompson series. I absolutely loved it. Mercy is an awesome heroine. Though the ending wasn't as fight-oriented as usual, the emotions/stakes were much higher this time. I recommend the series to anyone who enjoys vampires, werewolves, witches, fairies, etc. It's by Patricia Briggs. She has tons of other books too.

The only bad part about finishing the book is I have to wait a whole YEAR for the next one to come out. How will I survive? Well, I have other books to read. And books to write! I find that reading good fiction in my genre (which is fantasy) spurs me to write more. Though I didn't write anything more than this blog tonight, I know tomorrow I'll be pumped to get down 3,000 words of my next novel. I did a lot of editing this week. I'm ready to write fresh material.

PS, there's a lot of short story competition deadlines coming up in the next month or so. I have two short stories ready, but I'd like to get some more ready. I wrote a short story a few nights ago about suicide. It was very hard to write because I feel sad when people die, and even more sad when they could have been saved. Anyway, I'm letting it sit before editing.

The weekend is near! I feel like despite having major disappointments thrown at me (grad school rejections, boy rejections, housing issues, headaches during the middle of the day issues) I'm doing alright. If life shoots you with arrows, shoot back with fire. I got plenty of fire.

Progress/Goals

I thought after spring break I wouldn't have the time/energy to write as much, but it's been quite the opposite. I've been very productive. Since my last posting, I've written a short story, edited 3 chapters in my novel, edited another short story, and started brainstorming my next novel (which will be about life/death again but for YA). I'm super excited to start on the novel, but I got a dozen other projects to take care of first. I find the more stuff I have on my list, the more productive I am. I also feel more creative. If I don't feel in the mood to write, I'll edit. If I'm not in the mood to edit, I'll write. If I'm not in the mood for either, I'll brainstorm ideas for other projects. One of my favorite writing activities involves looking up names and their meanings. So much fun! Names are so important. Make sure you love (not like) the name. Especially for your main character.

:-) Happy Tuesday!

Goal of the week- finish editing novel!

After-Editing-Enlightened Phase

You know how you can tell when you've written something worthwhile? After you've done a billion edits and it's near-perfect, you usually think to yourself: Yay! I've finished, now I get to start on something else.

But sometimes you don't think that.

Instead you think: Oh, I'm really going to miss that character.

You want to go back and relive the excitement you felt when you wrote your first draft. You want to somehow turn that short story into a novel so you can play with characters and cause additional chaos to their once-normal lives. You wish so-and-so hadn't been killed, so they could come back in a sequel. You mourn them like they're real people.

And that's when you know you've written something worthwhile.

So, the question of the evening is...if you love a story so much (short stories as example) is it alright to go back and continue it? What if it's perfect as a stand-alone piece? But you're still aching to write more. Do short stories series work? What about a prelude?

Or is it better just to take the spirit of that story and put it into your next story/novel?

Right now, I'm having problems letting go of a recent short story I wrote. I love it so much, I can't stop thinking about when I work on other stuff.

The connection

Do people draw a blank when they look at you? Do people really know you? How can you tell? How can you tell what's real and what's not? When they smile, is it genuine or are they really screaming inside?

When reading a book, especially one that's in 1st person, you know exactly what's real and what's not (or at least you think you do). The way a character flinches his eyes, or turns his head, or feels extra blood pumping to his cheeks in embarrassment...we read that, we connect with that, and we wonder why we don't always notice those things in real life. Are we not paying attention? When people talk to us, are we really listening?

Do you ever have so much on your mind, that when you read a book, you're basically skimming through the pages until something exciting happens. For all you know, you could have skimmed over vital details to why that character thinks/feels/acts the way he does. In life, if you skim over someone and just look for the "cool" things, you may find yourself not knowing them, not understanding them when they're upset or in a funk or crying.

If I could relate to my characters the way I relate to everyone in life, I think I'd be a stronger writer and a stronger person. I'd know people, I'd relate better. I'd understand them. My mind would open.

Make the connection.

Passion

Ever read a "How to Be a Writer" type of book? I've read a few this year. Common lessons- avoid adverbs, widen your vocabulary, use the exclamation point sparingly, and only use the 1st person narrative if the main character has a distinctive voice. And...in order to BE a writer, you must have passion.

That's the best piece of advice out there. You must have passion and if you don't, find another career. A writer will not stop writing. Just like a drug addict can't stop doing drugs. Seriously, it would take more than an intervention to stop me from writing. You'd have to kill me first. But please don't. Not until I'm published. ;-)

I could write more about this, but I'm so ready to work on my newest novel "SNOW FLOWER" that I'm cutting this blog short. Adios!