The connection

Do people draw a blank when they look at you? Do people really know you? How can you tell? How can you tell what's real and what's not? When they smile, is it genuine or are they really screaming inside?

When reading a book, especially one that's in 1st person, you know exactly what's real and what's not (or at least you think you do). The way a character flinches his eyes, or turns his head, or feels extra blood pumping to his cheeks in embarrassment...we read that, we connect with that, and we wonder why we don't always notice those things in real life. Are we not paying attention? When people talk to us, are we really listening?

Do you ever have so much on your mind, that when you read a book, you're basically skimming through the pages until something exciting happens. For all you know, you could have skimmed over vital details to why that character thinks/feels/acts the way he does. In life, if you skim over someone and just look for the "cool" things, you may find yourself not knowing them, not understanding them when they're upset or in a funk or crying.

If I could relate to my characters the way I relate to everyone in life, I think I'd be a stronger writer and a stronger person. I'd know people, I'd relate better. I'd understand them. My mind would open.

Make the connection.