I am

I am 31 years old. I am married. I have a daughter who is 20 months old. My Cocker Spaniel is my best friend. I often wish I could travel back in time only to sit at Border's cafe, sip on a caramel latte and write for hours straight. I miss Borders. I miss a lot of things.

For the greater part of my twenties, I wrote novels. To be exact, I wrote six novels between 2008 and 2012. I queried 4 out of 6 of them. I was rejected. Ultimately I decided to go the self-publishing route and publish what I considered my best work. I was met with praise from family and friends, but also from complete strangers who happened to read my book. But none of it led me to become a bestseller. My books still aren't on bookshelves or in libraries. And that was my childhood dream. To become an author. A bestseller.

Do we always have to let go of our dreams when we start a family? I didn't want to. Life kind of just took hold and instead of writing into the early morning hours, I was asleep at ten o'clock, exhausted from work, household duties, mommy duties, etc. I still to this day can't find the energy to write a completely new novel. I need inspiration. I need motivation. But most importantly I need time. I can't feel rushed when it comes to creativity.

Recently I self-published a novel I wrote almost a decade ago. And right after hitting the submit button on Amazon, I thought to myself, I should be querying this book instead. I should be going after an agent. So that's what I'm doing right now. Taking a step back and taking the long, hard road to publication.