Summer

Summer is here. I should be celebrating. Jumping up and down. Dancing. Running. But alas I have a bummed ankle and cardio is not my friend at the moment. If that's the case, I should be writing and editing, right? I am, but not a lot. I'm so restless. I feel out of touch with myself. I said I'd use summer as a chance to rediscover myself, but the only thing I'm discovering is my inability to relax. My novel says it all...

She sips the hot chocolate and feels her insides start to melt. She doesn’t like the sensation; when her emotions grow beyond a state of calm she feels miles from her skin, out of control and intolerable. It's like looking through a mirror and seeing a stranger that reminds you of everything you’ve lost.

I'm revising/editing Pluto yet again. I've sent it to friends/family to read, but haven't heard back from anyone yet so I'm doing another round of scrutinizing. This time I'm noticing how much of myself and my life I've put into the characters. Things I've said to people, things they've said to me, experiences, the good the bad and the ugly. It's my most personal novel yet and I want it to be polished to the extreme before I query it. I'm being patient this time. The agents aren't going to vanish over night and it's not like I have to worry about my novel not being in style a few months from now because it's a romance and romance always has a hungry audience.

My main concern with my novel is the fact that I have teenagers having sex by chapter 2 and they barely know each other. My mom's initial reply was: "Who has sex with a stranger in a hospital?" And of course, she criticized my female lead as being slutty and bitchy, ignoring the fact that the girl's dad is dying, she's tramatized by her past, and she has social problems galore. Yes having sex with a stranger in a hospital is an extreme choice, but in the world of fictional writing anything is possible so long as you can support it with honesty. People do crazy things when they're emotionally upset. And as a writer I push my characters to follow their impulses because it creates conflict/change. I wish I would follow more of my impulses in life.

I like YA. I appreciate YA that has real young adults in it. Real young adults make mistakes. LOTS of mistakes. For fiction, the bigger the better. So I'm thinking YES, I should keep the sex scene. I don't even describe it. It's a .... ending. I just have to make sure the built up to it is honest and the "need" is genuine.

Maybe I ought to visit someone in the hospital. A complete stranger and see what happens.